Pete Doherty eats a handful of oats he found between some sofa cushions. Pete Doherty consumed a minute mega breakfast because he fundamentally hasn't had a solid since , and his body craved and needed it, and then he washed it down with Yazoo. It's the only explanation. Can't Stand Me Now was good, making an entire generation of lads who knew between six to eight guitar chords buy a stiff red jacket with their first student loan payment was good, the last ten years have been bad. But this: this. This really is up there with his greatest hits. I've taken punches to the face and looked slightly less dazed and battered than Pete Doherty did at this point of the breakfast, and he was still only about halfway through.
At what point through a bellybuster challenge do you start to think: I've made a huge mistake? Because, I think — in that photo of Pete Doherty wearing an enormous coat and half-squinting at a sausage, almost visibly suppressing a burp — the photographer here might have captured a perfect, pure moment of regret. Observe: at the start of the breakfast, Doherty is wearing a coat. At the end of the breakfast, Doherty is not wearing a coat.
I posit this: the sheer carnage of eating four or five breakfasts' worth of breakfast put Doherty's frail-but-un-killable body under such strain that he started to overheat and sweat, and he had to lose his coat to finish the chips. I imagine he's still hot, wherever he is. Lying in bed, sweat soaked into the sheets, staring sleepless at the ceiling, gout already setting in, body temperature red-lining up around the danger mark.
There's a baby on the ceiling, Pete. There's a baby up there because you ate too many beans. And it is true that we are all talking about Pete Doherty now, again, and will be for some years. But I also fundamentally think: if this were a planned PR stunt, it would truly be one of the weirdly least-flattering ones in history — and I include Alex Reid paying a bloke to attack him in that canon — and if this were a PR stunt, it dismisses the basic central frequency of Doherty, which is a man who would just very mildly and quietly absolutely monster a Mega Breakfast, and it suspends disbelief, in the world and the capabilities within it, and I think it's actually quite cynical.
There are other iron-bellied men out there who have done this challenge. Six giants walk among us. And now a seventh, Pete Doherty.
Five or six people have completed the challenge: the exact figure is blurry. I am telling you right now that at least two of those people are dead. You do not eat four rashers of bacon, four eggs, four sausages, hash browns and onion rings and bubble and squeak, plus beans, plus two slices of thick bread plus a burger and chips without dying or greatly increasing your chances of dying.
You know how every time you do coke it contorts and monsters your heart? Think what a Mega Breakfast does to it. You're putting hard calcified cholesterol on there to never come out. Does that mean this is a slow death knell for Pete Doherty?
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I actually think this is going to make him stronger. I feel like Doherty will still be around in 70, 80 years. Pete Doherty will outlive you, and me, and your parents and your kids. The man just ate four sausages plus the rest without dying.
The 13th Fairy. The Cupcake Wedding. The Dirty Dozen. The Dying Photo. The Genie. The Ghost in the Bath. The Hat Trick. The Monster Snowman. The Queen's Tale.
Five Questions About… Pete Doherty Aggressively Eating a Breakfast
The Stepsisters' Story. The Sticky Witch. The Story of Matthew Buzzington. The Tale of Black-Eye Jax. The Wickedest Witch in the World. Under the Skin.
Vigi the Viking and the Dream Dragon. Virtual Friends Again. War Games. Ways to Trap a Yeti. Weird Happenings. Wildly Weird. Who's a Big Bully Then? Young Dracula. Young Merlin. Young Monsters. Young Werewolf. Comedy Family Romance. Animation Family Fantasy. Edit Cast Credited cast: London Cardinal Young Eric Allbright Ty Consiglio Eric Allbright Bruce Coville Principal Jayden Greig Rod Allbright Carmela Nossa Guizzo Nesbitt Christine Lee Maloney Lauren McNamara Elspeth McMasters Dan Payne Grakker Sean Quan Mickey Tristan Risk Madame Pong Kirsten Robek Gwen Allbright Sandy Robson Art Allbright William Shatner Edit Storyline Extraterrestrials invade Earth and a pair of middle schoolers hold the fate of the world in their hands in Aliens Ate My Homework, a delightfully comical intergalactic adventure from Universal and Lay-Carnagey Entertainment.
Language: English. Runtime: 90 min.
The hungry dragon | LearnEnglish Kids | British Council
Color: Color. Edit Did You Know? Trivia The school the children attend, Coville Elementary is named after the author of the book series, Bruce Coville. Add the first question. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report this.
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- Angelwood (R&P Labs Mysteries Book 4);
- BAFTA Nomination for Super Monsters Ate My Condo.
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